Thursday 10 May 2012

Jack Heaton 100WC week#29 Brundall


On the dreadful day of the 18th may 1944 (D-Day) after his (Churchill’s) famous speech he woefully trudged off just managing to keep his head held high. Drearily he murmured, “now what do I need to do?”  As he spoke all the hope drained from his body slowly, slowly liked a pierced bottle. His eyes deflated. Drooping like a willow Winston Crawled back home through the propaganda filled streets dreading the days to come…

8 comments:

  1. keep up the good work!

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  2. This is really good! nice use of vocabulary! eg. dreadful, drooping like ...

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  3. this is kinda creepy, but i think thats the whole point.
    so, errrr, well done?

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  4. Fabulous writing,great use of ambitious vocabulary. Wondering what year group you are in?
    Mrs Maclean

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    1. Great piece of work. I really like the use of emotive language, particularly your use of similes and alliteration. I also like the contrast you have given between the hope Winston Churchill must give to the nation with what may have been his genuine thoughts after the speech. Keep up the good work.

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  5. Hello Jack,

    I had often wondered the feelings of Churchill when he gave his famous speeches. He knew knew the need to try to boost the morale of people but he also would have known many lives would be lost. I like the way you placed yourself in his shoes and considered how me might have felt.

    One suggestion, while plans had set the original D-Day in May, it had been reset to June 5 but bad weather had the actual landings on June 6, 1944.

    Your ability to interpret the possible emotions of a character shows me you're a skilled writer. I hope you keep entering the 100WC.

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher, NSW, Australia

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  6. Hello Jack,

    What a wonderful piece of writing and such an emotive viewpoint. Your use of language is impressive and certainly adds to the depressive nature of circumstance and events and indeed gives your perspective of Churchill's demeanour substance.

    Please keep writing for the 100wc, I look forward to reading some more of your work.

    Mrs Shaw (Team 100wc)

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